However, Australia is fun too. Check out their sense of humor. These were posted on an Australian Tourism Website and the answers are the actual responses by the
website officials!

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Q: Does it ever get windy in Australia ? I have never seen it rain
on TV, how do the plants grow? ( UK ).

A: We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around watching
them die.

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Q: Will I be able to see kangaroos in the street? ( USA )

A: Depends how much you’ve been drin king.

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Q: I want to walk from Perth to Sydney – can I follow the railroad
tracks? ( Sweden )

A: Sure, it’s only three thousand miles, take lots of water.

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Q: Are there any ATMs (cash machines) in Australia ? Can you send
me a list of them in Brisbane , Cairns ,Townsville and Hervey Bay ? ( UK )

A: What did your last slave die of?

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Q: Can you give me some information about hippo racing in Australia
? ( USA )

A: A-fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe .

Aus-tra-lia is that big island in the middle of the Pacific which does not

… oh forget it. Sure, the hippo racing is every Tuesday night in Kings
Cross. Come naked.

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Q: Which direction is North in Australia ? ( USA )

A: Face south and then turn 180 degrees. Contact us when you get here
and we’ll send the rest of the directions.

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Q: Can I bring cutlery into Australia ? ( UK )

A: Why? Just use your fingers like we do.

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Q: Can you send me the Vienna Boys’ Choir schedule? ( USA )

A: Aus-tri-a is that quaint little country bordering Ger-man-y, which is …

oh forget it. Sure, the Vienna Boys Choir plays every Tuesday night in Kings
Cross, straight after the hippo races. Come naked.

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Q: Can I wear high heels in Australia ? ( UK )

A: You are a British politician, right?

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QAre there
supermarkets in Sydney and is milk available all year round? ( Germany

A: No, we are a peaceful
civilisation of vegan hunter/gatherers
Milk is illegal

Q: Please send a list of all
doctors in Australia who can Dispense rattlesnake serum. ( USA

A: Rattlesnakes live in A-meri-ca
which is where YOU come from.

All Australian snakes are
perfectly harmless, can be safely handled and make good pets

Q: I have a question about a
famous animal in Australia , but I forget its name. It’s a kind of bear and
lives in trees. ( USA )

A: It’s called a Drop Bear. They
are so called because they drop out of Gum trees and eat the brains of anyone
walking underneath them.

You can scare them off by spraying
yourself with human urine before you go out walking.

Q:
I have developed a new product that is the fountain of youth. Can you tell me
where I can sell it in Australia ? ( USA

A: Anywhere significant numbers of
Americans gather.

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Q: Can you tell me the regions in
Tasmania where the female population is smaller than the male population? (
Italy )

A: Yes, gay night clubs

Q: Do you celebrate Christmas in
Australia ? ( France )

A: Only at Christmas

Q: I was in Australia in 1969 on
R+R, and I want to contact the Girl I dated while I was staying in Kings
Cross*. Can you help? ( USA )

A: Yes, and you will still have to
pay her by the hour..

Q: Will I be able to speak English
most places I go? ( USA )

A: Yes, but you’ll ha ve to learn
it

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